I suffer from an eating disorder. I cope on a daily basis the tole of what my eating disorder causes, I suffer from depression due to lack of proper nutrician. I an currently at 100 pounds striving to lose more weight.

  Here is a bit of what my day is like with this, I get up in the morning and weigh myself, what the scale reads will more than likely be the basis of that days mood, if I have lost some, even if it is an ounce or two I am ok, but if I have gained a bit I will be moody and mad at myself and punish myself through the day, I fix my kids their breakfast and I will leave the kitchen after. The depression pretty much has taken over my life and my thoughts, I find it very hard to do things, I don't socialize with anyone I just don't want to be around food, or their judgement, I am happy at home with my family, they are the light of my life.

  I have come to some soul searching, I have realized that since I was very young I used starvation to cope with things and then later on I used starvation as a way to punish my parents for the harm they did to me, Then as I becaume a teenager I was always told I will be Fat, I knew in my mind I had to beat the fat so I starved more and more and made sure the scale did NOT go up at all. Then I ran away from home, yes at the age of 18, that was the only way to escape was to run away, my friend took me in, I finally got into my own appartment, and I found a new way to cope with depression and the pain I was dealing with inside, I would spend money like there was no tomorrow, I also would drink everyday and I was always drunk, Then somewhere in all that mess, I became pregnant and moved back home, I had to deal the fact that I was an unwed mother, I was planning on keeping my baby, Then after he was born, and the bishop told my mother that I would put the resposibility of the baby on her and go out and party again, my mother told me if I kept him I couldn not come home, not having a place to live I gave up my baby for adoption. so much pain to cope with then, I dropped 20 pounds in one month!!!! and I again began to party and spend money, I met my hubby, stopped drinking and partying, but the spending money plagued me and I got us in debt that we are trying to pay off now, I ran up our cards to $35,000 an I still cry over what I have done, I now rely on starvation, my scale,

Favorite TV show: I love to watch 7'th heaven and Cops. There are others, to many to post really,
Favorite movie: Exorcism of Emily Rose, I really like movies that are Ghost stories and spooky movie's, I don't get into the bloody, gory movies though
Favorite book: I like to read books by Mary Higgens Clark, so there are really no one favorite book, to hard to choose just one book
Favorite sports team: The only sport I like is Horse racing, I really get into the triple crown races. and I also am into Dog showing, and the Madison Square Garden dog show is my most favorite one,
Favorite food: I love to eat Pizza, Hamburgers from Red Robbin, but I rarely do eat those because of all the fat in those, so I mostly stick to non fat, low cal foods, my most favorite drink though is Diet Coke.